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Welcome!
Gestalting YOUR Day
Traditions and Change:
Every year offers countless occasions for celebrating traditions; they may be part of a culture, religion, a particular ethnic group, historical event, or a personally meaningful remembrance. None, however, are as joyous, raucous, time-consuming, expensive, and celebratory as Christmas and Santa Claus in the American tradition.
Of course, for many throughout the world, Christians, Muslims, Jews, African Americans and Indians - to mention only a few, this time of year holds traditions that would be just as meaningful and true if they were not celebrated nationwide. There is something quite wondrous when one is born into a family at a special historical time and place where traditions are so imbedded in one's being (maybe for hundreds or thousands of years old) that they become part of one's soul and spiritual essence as much as one's genetic make up destines one to become a certain size or possess individual talents. This highly personal experience of being is and always has been a sacred and a welcome guidepost for life, even if or when it's outward expression changes; living one's values remains soulful and spiritual and never changes, making the world a better place by impacting others in the process.
As rewarding life can be for those described in the previous paragraph, sadly, this soulful existence does not hold true for others in spite of how the family's background could have provided a foundation for such a life. Consider all the homeless people who became victims of today's dismal economic conditions. In spirit they may feel blessed and ache for not being able to provide for their family but are rendered helpless and in the process are creating unfinished business. For others it's quite different. Human beings at their core have the propensity to be good or act badly hurting people in inexcusable ways. I am referring to children who are born into less than ideal family environments and seem troubled for life unable to find joy or goodness in themselves or in others. Some may seem enveloped by a suffocating cloud that disallows penetration into the light and wholeness; their governing identity is reliving bad memories of unfinished business from their childhood. Often, drugs, alcohol, sexual acting out or passing on abuse to their offspring are the only tools available to them. Others suffer from deep depression and can exist only with continuous medication. Certainly all deserve our support and compassion. Still, nothing can have lasting effect until they have the opportunity and determination to finish their unfinished business from the past.
In truth, all unfinished business, events, memories, hang around until we are finished with them, resolve them and forgive; yes, I mean forgive in the true sense of the word. We, you, each one of us can create a healthier everyday existence and a more peaceful future. It takes patience, courage, compassion and determination for one's self and others and is accomplishable. If nothing happens, nothing changes; who other than each one of us has a better sense of what needs to be done to effect change? Only the individual is able to break the cycle and it is you and I. You may retort: "It's easier said than done". Yes it is, that doesn't make it any less doable.
What about you?
- Call a therapist or life coach and ask for assistance
- Keep a daily journal and revisit the memory
- Write how you responded to what was happening
- Think of possible interpretations that you have not considered
- Evaluate if your response to the past is still alive and automatic today regardless of the triggers?
- Ask yourself which responses today could be changed or modified and how?
- Look around you and balance the hurtful with your blessings
- Develop compassion for others' patterns of behavior
- Were the negative experiences intended to be hurtful?
- What is required to forgive others and yourself for hanging on so long to something that can not be changed?
- Celebrate your strengths, breath deeply and rejoice feeling awakened and alive
- Join others in celebrating the Holidays.
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Inspirations to Gestalting Your Day |
"From the beginning of history people have been committing outrages against other people, groups have been committing outrages against other groups, nations have been committing outrages against other nations. Committing an outrage is evil - nothing makes it okay. Not forgiving, which only God can do? Not punishing, which again, only God can do. Not raging, since wasting such precious energy is useless. Not doing good, because good does not cancel evil. It is important in itself.
Remember that both good and evil reside within each of us. We can be assured that even during the short span which is our life, we will both commit outrages and have outrages committed against us. Sadly, it is rarely equal; a glance at history shows that some are repeatedly victim. But a longer glance shows that even that is untrue. We seem to take turns.
So we are left with two difficult tasks: First, to fight the demon in ourselves and thus reduce the pain in the world. And second, to learn to bear the huge regret when we do hurt others- and hope that others do the same."
I wish you all a most peaceful Holiday and the joy and wisdom
to create a wonderful life in the coming year.
Helga
Resources to Gestalting Your Day |
 NEW!! Creating the Good Life - Finishing Unfinished Business Important Implications for Therapy and Coaching
The topic of this eBook describes how hanging on to old experiences and painful memories from the past tend to prevent the creation of a happy and satisfying life in the ongoing present. When reading Creating the Good Life, individual readers and professionals alike will become acquainted with many approaches that will support the undoing and healing of painful memories. There are also suggestions for bringing about forgiveness and creating a life of freedom and joy that had not been conceived possible.
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